This is Teh Sweggurboi’s CPU Opponents Ranking. The big question this article is all about is: Which computer-controlled characters are the hardest to beat and which characters should yield an easy win? The main criteria are how hard their power shots are to stop for you and how good they play as CPU opponents. The characters' costumes are not included in the ranking, because the characters don't always wear them.
The worst CPU opponent in the game Edit
64) South Korea = Slow, very defensively, when he jumps his feet barely leave the ground, bad at stopping others' power shots and he has a terrible shot himself which you can easily block and turn into an own goal for South Korea... Yeah... Need I say more? This character is such an easy CPU opponent that he deserves his own section; on a good day you could beat him by more than 25 goals!
Terrible opponents Edit
63) Colombia = A five star opponent so low on this list? Yes, but you probably saw that coming anyway. I was expecting so much more when he made his appearance in Head Soccer, but unfortunately he didn’t beat my expectations... at all. Here you see how important a good power shot is. He doesn't play bad actually, but you can really just walk his power shot back into his own goal, making him one of the easiest characters to beat. He is not worthy to have 5 stars.
62) Cameroon = The second character in the game is the third worst opponent. His offensive style of playing occasionally creates chances for him, but because he is often away from his goal, you can easily head the ball over him. He is too slow to get back in time and can't jump high enough to reach the ball. His limited jumping ability also ensures that he shoots his power shot low. Even though it's slightly harder than South Korea, you can usually head the ball back into his own goal by jumping right in front of him.
61) Argentina = Seriously, he is so bad, it's ridiculous. Even if you decide to do nothing at all from the start, he could still have trouble getting the ball under control and end up heading it backwards... under his own crossbar. However, when I just started playing Head Soccer, I couldn't figure out how to stop the Dragon Shot, as I didn't know that the ball comes at the end of the dragon. But once you've seen that through, you should be able to return all of Argentina's dragons to his own net.
Very bad opponents Edit
60) Turkey = If you're good at Head Soccer, you can beat him easily. If you just keep up the pressure a bit, he gets lost and you can score tons of goals against him. The ball that Turkey shoots is covered in water so it's hardly visible, but always remember that it's just a simple straight-line shot and you will be okay. I think his facial expression depicts his power shot perfectly.
59) Poland = The ice spikes are merely decoration to make it look different from South Korea's shot, but don't get fooled, it's exactly the same. Poland is still higher than South Korea though, because his moving, kicking and jumping stats are upgraded. The last stat is important for yet another reason. When you don't have your own stats upgraded, Poland can make his power shot go over your head, in contrast to South Korea who can't even jump over a credit card.
Bad opponents Edit
58) Asura = I know what you think. It must be something like "What is wrong with this guy?", with "this guy" referring to either Asura or the creator of this ranking, me. Look, Asura's Fist Shot deals critical damage to you, but it doesn't do much more than that. It doesn’t really knock you back, and because the ball is already close to Asura’s goal, it’s even easier to head in. Even if you can't get right in front of Asura in time, you still got a great option left, which is countering. Because this is a shot that works much better against CPUs, Asura will let the ball pass over him. Just because CPUs can't handle it, people think it's good, but with the right tactic it's easier than you thought was possible.
54) Israel = You got this. His first shot is just a classic straight-line power shot, which you can block and backfire into his own goal. His second shot seems even easier, but the truth is that I don't think so. There is an 85% chance that you can block it successfully and the ball goes through Israel's body into the goal, but there also is a 10% chance that the Hammer Shot goes through your body, and you can't do anything about it. Furthermore, Israel is an okay opponent.
56) Valentine = Valentine the clown is known as a CPU who is advanced at countering power shots; he might even be one of the best at it. He has a pretty bad shot, but it’s a bit harder to deal with than most other straight-line shots, although you might think otherwise. Anyway, this is because only jumping in front of Valentine isn’t always enough to make it go through him into his goal; it's recommended to move forward as well. But it’s still rather easy and it misses a good after effect. The jack in the box is a too good defender for Valentine to pass, so it's pretty useless for him. It sure is entertaining to play against him.
47) Greece = The Greek character plays surprisingly offensively for a Greek. His power shots are fast but not that hard to stop and they both fire in a straight path. In his power button effect he gains a helmet that replaces his costume (if he was wearing one), and his air shot comes with multiple small spears that make you lose your costume, so Greece can quickly turn it into a costume-less game. He is furthermore special for being the first character with a special counter attack. He was the trendsetter, the one who started it all, but many characters have copied his style and got better than the inventor of the counter attack himself! Still, the speed of the Spear Shot can be really tricky at times.
53) China = China has two power shots, but they both aren't great. His air shot is a straight line and not much better than Poland’s shot, and his second shot, which he uses after taking serious damage, is similar to Russia’s Ice Shot in the respect that it curves down a little. The main difference is that it starts off in China’s goal, in such a way that it’s almost impossible to NOT block it. However, it can be hard sometimes to head it back into China's goal, as the ball starts off rather high.
46) Denmark = He plays as good as a 5 star opponent should do, but his power shots don’t help him a lot. Denmark's air shot pushes you back, but it’s still not really hard to block it successfully. However, it may surprise you occasionally as the ball can be shot from different heights and at different moments. Sometimes that makes you jump too early or too late and it might even score! And when he uses it near your goal, you won't be able to stop it because of the strong pushback effect. When Denmark counter a shot, it's almost like he's postponing your goal, because you can easily head it in if you mind the delay. You’re much helped by the fact that the ball can easily go through Denmark's body during and a while after both of his power shots.
51) Nigeria = He plays very bad and defensively, but his power shot is what brings him here. The Tornado Shot travels over the ground, so it forces you to stay rather low whenever you want to power block it, making your own power shot less effective most of the time. Another solution is countering it by coming close to Nigeria and kick while staying on the ground, but if you fail, you will be thrown up in the air. This creates a huge chance for Nigeria to score, although not always huge enough, apparently.
57) Portugal = I expected more glory for this super hero, but the truth is that Spider-Man is a lousy opponent. He hangs in the air and hands you the ball like: "here it is, do whatever you like to do with it!". There are so many options... You can block it so it hopefully bounces back into Portugal's goal, activate your power shot and see how it scores while Portugal is still there watching from above, counter it (preferably with a special counter attack so it will be a normal power shot’s scenario)... In addition, his power shot is rarely on target since he’s playing too defensively, making this 5 star opponent much worse than he should be.
55) Egypt = His power shot has a slight delay, so don't jump too early when you want to deflect it. In that respect, it looks much like Argentina’s Dragon Shot, and you must handle it the same way; just walk towards Egypt until you're close in front of him and jump when the ball comes. But why then is Egypt so much better than him? Well, the Egyptian guy plays quite good and attacking football, and is good at countering your power shots.
52) Italy = The first time I played against him, I thought he was really good, because I didn't know how the hell I could ever stop him. Everything I tried, I failed at. But after a while I learned how to counter power shots, and once you get the hang of it, you realize how bad his shot actually is. But the problem is that Italy is tolerably good at countering his own shot. Therefore, an even better way to stop the Giant Shot is to power block it, so you avoid a lengthy counter showdown against Italy and show right away. A special counter attack is a great resource as well.
50) USA = I know how it works, I need to explain why he is so high. Think of it; you always beat him, but never with a really convincing result, right? USA has a straight-line power shot, but it starts a bit in front of him and is therefore much harder to head back into his goal. This also provides a sure goal for USA whenever he uses it very close to your net, but fortunately he is usually too slow to get there. The invisibility trick in his after effect always works against you, so you must hope a bit that the ghost ball doesn't enter your goal. So, blocking won't really help and countering won't score either without a special counter attack; all that remains is power blocking it. But I mustn't exaggerate, he isn't that good. He has this strange habit of walking the ball into his own goal whenever it lands on top of his head, and his jumping stats are so low that your straight-line power shot usually goes in when you shoot it high.
42) Russia = The Russian character clearly likes defending, but the problem is that he isn't good at it and his power shot also isn't that good. His Ice Shot starts high but curves down in a way so you will almost always block it. The after effect is that it freezes and immobilizes you, but Russia mostly won't score a goal out of it. Russia really looks like a Russian guy and he has a large birthmark on his head, which may refer to former Russian president Mikhail Gorbachev. Although I pretty like Russia, I don't think he is a good opponent. 35) Devil = Devil's power shot can be very good when he uses it while he is high in the air. The ball will go over your head and you aren’t able to stop it when it comes down right into your goal. He doesn't always do this, though, but his offensive style improves him, just like the fact that he is very fast and he can jump really high when he is transformed into a bat. Another thing which I have noticed about him, is that he is much less aggressive than most other opponents, which I didn’t expect at all from a devil. For example, he mostly doesn’t kick you when you are close to him, something which only beginner characters like South Korea, Cameroon and Nigeria don’t do too.
41) Japan = Japan is this character that is terrible when we play with him, but when we play against him he suddenly isn't so bad... almost as if he’s fooling us! A match against Japan is like playing Stoke on a cold and rainy Wednesday night. Beating him will give you no sense of glory and when you lose or barely seal the win, you might get the insuppressible desire to search for an empty corner in your house and cry out your shame there. It gets even worse when you look at his amount of stars; ONLY 2.5, WHAT?! It's just his rigid way of playing, I guess, along with his habit of unexpectedly dashing forward to score a goal out of nowhere, and the randomness in his Ninja Shot, which may trick you more than you're possibly able to bear.
49) The Netherlands = It seems like The Netherlands wants to have possession and he is hard to keep from the ball. This makes it harder for you to control the game. In addition to this, The Netherlands is also the champion "Heading the ball on top of the goal to drive your opponent desperate". It's the most annoying trick ever, but it works and The Netherlands has mastered it. What you maybe didn't know, is that the heading trick also works with his power shot, but only if you move forward while doing so; so it's a bit harder. His power shot is also really easy to counter, but the hit effect of his Black Hole Shot is amazing: the opponent disappears, opening the lane for an easy walk-in goal for The Netherlands.
40) Brazil = This 4 and a half star player has a relatively good power shot, but you can see that he isn't yet good enough to have 5 stars. The ball travels on a downward path and when you get hit by the bird with the ball, your controls will get switched. The computer never gets this, but you do after a while.
48) New Zealand = I will explain. The way to handle New Zealand's Lightning Shot is to come close to him and jump when the ball comes, so you'll head it back to his goal. Other than you expect, the lightning won't bother you in the least! You must really forget about that and keep in mind that it works exactly the same as an ordinary straight-line power shot. Countering is another good option, but that is harder, because then you do have to avoid the lightning spots. But when you fail, you get either stunned by the lightning or turned into a rugby ball.
25) Ireland = Ireland's Rainbow Shot looks pretty much like Asura's Fist Shot, but it is harder to stop. The only real difference between the shots is that Asura flies back to his goal and Ireland just fires the shot on the place where he got the ball. This means that if you block the shots, Asura’s shot will go in his own goal more easily, because the distance to the goal is smaller. Ireland’s Rainbow Shot also seems to be a bit harder to counter, as Ireland’s rainbow balls push you back more than Asura’s fists.
24) Belgium = We are now entering into the Very hard opponents, and we start off with Belgium. Although, Belgium doesn’t have the best power shots in the game, he is a tough opponent, who plays defensively. His air shot is the best shot he has. However, there is a way to block it and to make it an own goal for Belgium, so if you know this trick it isn’t very hard to stop it either. But if you don’t know how to do that, it is one of the hardest shots to stop. Too bad for him that his ground shot and counter attack are worse and can't guarantee goals at all. In fact, they are more likely to score own goals than goals against opponents who know how to block them.
17) Croatia = Croatia is in 17th place, and that is not for nothing. Croatia's first shot and counter attack are good but his ground shot isn't. I’ll start with his air shot. Even though Croatia’s shot travels in almost the same angle as Brazil’s shot, the ball won’t go over if Croatia is very close to his opponent’s goal, because the shot will then be launched around midline. This is good, because then Croatia’s shot scores more goals than other shots that travel in the same angle. However, there is a trick to block it and make the ball roll back into Croatia’s goal, but this isn’t easy for most people and therefore I consider Croatia’s air shot as a pretty good one, even though Croatia has to struggle with his robot parts sometimes after the power shot is launched. Then his ground shot, which is a failure, as it almost never scores. It’s much harder to not block it than to block it, and when you block it, which happens like… always, the ball bounces in every direction except the good one. His counter attack is good again, because it goes high and fast. That is especially hard when you are Italy or Nigeria for example and Croatia counters your shot, because then you expect a low shot, but what you get is a high shot.
39) Canada = Canada has two shots, a ground shot, and an air shot, with the last shot being the better one. It is pretty similar to Brazil's Firebird Shot, but the after effect is maybe worse. It changes you into a snowman, but this is not easy enough for Canada to score a goal, mostly. Canada's ground shot does the same, but it is easier as it is just a straight-line shot which goes over the ground. The reason why he is still ranked three places higher than Brazil? Because he plays better than him.
21) Hungary = He has three power shots and a cool bonus when he has activated his power, but he is not good enough to be in the top 10 because his power shots aren't good enough. Especially Hungary's ground shot is not very good at all, only the power button effect, like I said, helps out a good bit. When Hungary activates his power, he slams his sword into the ground and when you are close to it, you'll get immobilized, so you can’t jump anymore and you move much slower for a short amount of time. This is the only thing which makes his average power shots much better, but if you can dodge Hungary when he is about to activate his power, you can pretty easily stop his shots.
38) Mexico = Actually, the idea of this power shot is very good. This shot is supposed to create an open goal chance and Mexico's opponent is expected to have no chance to do anything about it when he doesn't counter it. However, computer-controlled Mexico just doesn't know how to deal with his own power shot, because he almost never scores while you're there smashed into the ground, unable to move and hoping for Mexico to ruin it. And mostly he does. He just doesn't take advantage of the situation. In addition to that, Mexico has to deal with a bug in which he keeps jumping after he has launched his power shot. This doesn't only worsen the power shot for Mexico when he is a CPU, but also when you play as Mexico.
26) Chile = Chile plays offensively and constantly wants to have the ball, in the same way as The Netherlands. But Chile is better in it, because he can jump really high. His power shot is also quite good, and maybe a bit harder to stop than the look-alike power shot of Brazil. The after effect might also be better, because you can't do anything about the snake that pulls you back into your goal. This all makes Chile one of the best of the 'Hard' opponents.
32) Romania = His power shots almost never go in, especially not directly, but they waste your time, so there is less time left for you to beat Romania, and that makes him a tough opponent at times. Romania’s power shots simply aren’t good at scoring, and the opponent is disappeared for a too short amount of time to score out of the after effect. Only his counter attack is an exception to the rule, and that is the only thing, besides all the time wasting, which makes Romania harder to beat.
31) Kepler 22B = I consider Kepler 22B as one of the most interesting characters in the game. The unpredictableness of his power up makes him so much better, because you never know which power shot he is going to use, especially not when your sound is off. He can launch good power shots, however, he can also use bad ones. But power shots like Nigeria's Tornado Shot, Italy's Giant Shot and Argentina's Dragon Shot, which aren't very good normally, become much harder to stop when Kepler 22B shoots them unexpectedly. One of the main reasons why the alien doesn't make it higher on this list, is because he sometimes uses power shots on places where they are unable to score, like United Kingdom's power shot in front of your goal.
29) Germany = Personally I really like this character and he is one of the best characters to play with for me. But as a CPU, Germany isn't one of the hardest opponents. His power shot would be better if he uses it when he is high in the air, but he doesn't always do that. But he is this good because he plays offensively. I have to say that he used to be better some time ago, when his power shot had the ability to waste his opponent's power shot away. This made him my favorite character. But unfortunately, D&D Dream thought it made him too overpowered, so they took this special advantage away from him. This made Spain replace Germany as my favorite and best character, and it made him a worse opponent. He fell down to place 30 on this opponents' ranking, however he still is one of my favorite Head Soccer characters.
33) Super Saiyan = Now it's Super Saiyan's turn. You can counter Super Saiyan's power shot, but you can't block it. Super Saiyan's power shot is quite similar to Brazil's power shot, only with a bigger ball. This means that it is much easier to counter Super Saiyan's shot, but if you aren't able to counter it. it is a sure goal for Super Saiyan. So in some ways it's better than Brazil's Firebird Shot, and in some ways worse. Nevertheless, Super Saiyan is ranked in 34th place, much higher than Brazil, also because Super Saiyan is a very good football player.
9) Georgia = Georgia, along with Indonesia the character who doesn't lose his costume after his power button effect is activated, is in 9th place. The fact that he has three different, good power shots, makes him very strong. They are all three very hard to counter. In that respect, Georgia’s air shot, in which he runs at high speed towards you, is the easiest of the three. But that is not the best way to stop it. If you jump forward, the ball will fall behind Georgia with a bit of luck and then Georgia will dash the ball into his own goal, similar to the notorious situation in which you block all three red notes of Belgium's air shot and Belgium dashes the ball into his goal. Georgia's ground shot is a bit harder to counter, but even if you manage to counter it, it isn’t very useful, since you will do this shot much higher than Georgia did and the ball mostly goes over. Another thing which makes this power shot so good, is that Georgia will knock you out and kick you into your goal if you are close to him when he activates his ground shot. I believe that Georgia's counter attack is the best and the hardest to stop. There is no way of blocking this shot, and you really have to practice your timing to counter this one, as the ball is somewhere in the beam. This means that you must wait longer than your feeling is with kicking. It is definitely a great power shot, and Georgia is a great opponent, who deserves this top ten spot.
28) Saudi Arabia = The explosions really make him better, they add a new dimension to his otherwise not very special power shots. With both his air shot and his ground shot you have to make sure that the ball doesn't touch the oil, or you will be gone for a few seconds. It is possible to counter his air shot, but his ground shot is one of the two shots in the game which simply cannot be countered, the other one being Belgium's air shot.
27) France = France's Ground Shot is the only shot in the game which can be truly unstoppable (except for some shots when used right in front of the goal). When you play as France, he can be very useful, as you can always score some goals no matter how good your opponent is, even if he has his power shot activated. The bad thing is that it is only on target when used around midfield, making it useless from various distances on the field. Only if you know how to play with him, he can be very good, but the computer clearly doesn't. Sometimes, France launches his shot way to close to his or the opponent's goal and in that case it won't go in. But sometimes he is at the right place and then you can't do anything to prevent a goal and that can make France a tough opponent. He plays offensively and that makes him harder to beat as well.
15) Thailand = He plays offensively and very well and he has a great ground shot, which is very hard to stop. First you have to dodge the giant meteor, then you have to go back to your goal, and you have to jump and kick at the exact right time and place to counter it. Then Thailand’s air shot. It is one of my favorite power shots of all characters that came late in the game. The falling meteors make the air shot much better, which would otherwise just be an ordinary straight-line power shot. If Thailand’s opponent gets hit by one of the falling meteors, his controls will get switched, and that will make it difficult to deflect the shot. His counter attack looks a bit like his air shot, but without the falling meteors, so it’s much weaker.
30) Sweden = His power shot is unpredictable, which is good, but sometimes you can block it and score in Sweden's goal. But never mind how good you are at Head Soccer, you will never be good enough to always stop his power shot. Because besides skill, you need luck to succeed. Sweden plays offensively and good, that's also a plus. I like Sweden pretty much and I think the Viking Boat Shot fits him perfectly, as well as his appearance.
34) Cyborg = Cyborg’s first shot might be hard to stop sometimes when you don’t have your power shot ready, but it is pretty easily countered. After taking serious damage, Cyborg will try his second shot, the Missile Shot. This shot is sometimes almost impossible to stop, for example when the ball is in the last rocket and Cyborg uses it a little behind mid-line. But it also happens often that it is shot over the goal or that the ball is in a position where it is very easy to block. He plays very defensively, which I think fits him well.
37) Z = He has a power shot that doesn't score very often, but it is good at wasting your time. Mostly when you are eaten by the zombie monster, Z won't score a goal, making him and his power shot worse. Or more accurately, he has two power shots: a ground shot which goes straight and an air shot which goes downward and can leave green slime on the ground when the tongue doesn’t catch the opponent. Even if you don’t know which one will be shot, you can have them both by jumping and countering it somewhere near mid-line. And besides this all, I don’t really like Z.
10) Czech Republic = We are heading to the top 10 of the ranking! The 'worst' player who made it is Czech Republic. Czech Republic’s air shot travels in the same path as Hong Kong’s air shot. They both have their own advantages and disadvantages, hence I consider them as almost equally strong. Hong Kong has his nunchucks, Czech Republic has his lightning, which can burn you down to ashes. His ground shot is or very good or awful, there is nothing in between. If you can’t jump in time to dodge the lightning, Czech Republic has an open goal chance. But if you are able to dodge it, you can just play on as if Czech Republic had never used his ground shot. To do this, you have to dodge the big lightning which the 'lightning god' smashes into the ground, and you have to jump at the same time, no matter where you are on the field, to avoid the shock waves which go through the ground immediately afterwards. Because you don't make contact to the ground, the lightning doesn't have any effect on you, just like in reality. The counter attack of the number 10 of this ranking is a straight-line power shot, but a pretty good one.
18) Singapore = Singapore plays offensively and has three good power shots, though all three can be countered. Let’s begin with his air shot. This is a special shot, because the ball doesn’t travel in a straight path, but the ball makes a curve. This curve makes it harder to counter it, because it’s hard to estimate where the ball will come. I’m also happy that the computer almost never uses the Singapore glitch by the way, because that would make him nearly unstoppable. His ground shot is a good shot too. It is not very hard to counter it, but when you can’t manage to do it, nothing prevents Singapore to walk the ball in the goal. His counter attack is not very strong, but the high speed makes it better.
14) Hong Kong = Hong Kong fell short to make it into the top 10, but he isn't bad at all. The nunchucks in combination with his power shots make Hong Kong a tough opponent. He can hit you with his nunchucks after he has activated his power, making his air and ground shot much more effective. His air shot, the Sky Kick Shot is his best power shot. It's better on the opponent's side of the field, and therefore it is good that Hong Kong likes attacking. Hong Kong's ground shot is by far his weakest shot, as it doesn’t do anything if you just stay on the ground and walk forward. You can literally walk the ball back into Hong Kong's goal, but if Hong Kong first hits you with his nunchucks, you stand no chance to deflect it. Fortunately for you, Hong Kong doesn't swing with his nunchucks when he does his counter attack, so that's also a shot which you should be able to deflect most of the time.
5) Mon-K = We arrived in the top 5 of the ranking, and here we see Mon-K. Mon-K is a powerhouse character! He doesn't really look like a good footballer, more like a nerd, but once he has activated his power, he transforms into the Hulk and he becomes your worst nightmare! He has three power shots, and all of them are great if you are Mon-K, but it is less fun when you play against him. Mon-K isn't higher on this list, because his air shot becomes terrible when he uses it on his own side of the field. However, it seems to be unstoppable if he uses it close to your goal, as he smashes you into the ground and shoots his stones right into your goal, leaving you without a chance to stop it. His ground shot reminds me a bit of Uruguay’s ground shot and in my opinion it is about as strong. Mon-K isn’t one of my favorite characters, but his counter attack is one of the things I like about him. I consider it as one of the best counter attacks in the whole game, as the shot strongly pushes you back and it has a big delay, so you are likely to jump much too early. Just three more characters to go before we reach the number one!
23) United Kingdom = The one problem with United Kingdom's power shot is that it has a more specific range than most characters, and the CPU doesn't take this into account at all. When he is in the right spot, you're going to have a hard time stopping his power shot, but this isn't always the case. The UK has a power shot which is one of the most destructive ones in the game. You almost can't stop it without getting hurt. Once you are in the fire of the red arrows, you won’t be able to get out anymore, as the arrows keep pushing you back. The only way to stop the ball is to stay away from the arrows and only come back when the last arrow with the ball comes.
16) South Africa = His air, ground and counter shots are all good, but it is possible to counter them. Thus in that respect, South Africa and Singapore look alike. South Africa plays offensively too, which makes him harder to beat. Another thing which I noticed, is that he is one of the best opponents in countering shots. And this is good, because he has a strong counter attack, one of the best in the game in my opinion. You might be able to counter it and the shot travels in a straight line, but at a very high speed, and when you don’t counter it, South Africa will score an easy goal. South Africa’s air shot is similar to Pluto’s air shot, and his ground shot starts exactly the same, but it is treacherous because the golem suddenly breaks open and the ball will go in a downward path.
20) Australia = This old wizard with his two good power shots is to be found in 20th place of the opponents’ ranking. His ground shot is the one in which he teleports a big football over the ground. It looks a bit like Italy's Giant Shot, but it is so much better. Not only because it is harder to counter, but especially because he teleports the ball forward. When Australia uses it before mid-line, he will teleport the ball right into the goal and then it is unstoppable. His air shot looks maybe more like Super Saiyan's power shot, but yet again it is much harder to counter. Australia doesn't always use his air shot around midfield, but when he does, you're gonna have a hard time stopping it!
22) Spain = This character is ranked the highest of all characters that have only one power shot and I really like this guy. Spain is almost unstoppable when he uses his multi-shot near his goal. But he doesn't play fantastic without his power up, otherwise, he would definitely make it into the top 15. Another reason why he is only in 22nd place is because his shot gets much weaker when he uses it around midline or ahead, and naturally Spain sometimes uses it there, as not a single CPU knows the best place to use his shot. But because his shot is so hard to stop sometimes, Spain is a tough opponent in a game mode like Survival, because he can almost always score some goals out of his power shot.
12) Indonesia = Noteworthy is that all characters from the last three updates are in the top 10. Only Indonesia failed to make it. Instead of reaching a top 10 place, Indonesia make do with a maybe disappointing 12th place. And why, actually? There is nothing wrong with the way he plays or his air shot. His ground shot and counter attack though, are the main problem. They don’t have anything special and are just below average. You expect more from a 5 star opponent from the latest update. His air shot is not the greatest power shot ever as well, but if it is used the right way by Indonesia, a little bit behind midfield, it can work out very well for him. If you get dragged away from the field by an iron rope which takes you with it, you have no chance to stop the last iron rope from carrying the ball into your goal. It is a nice shot, which has similarities with France’s and United Kingdom’s power shots, as they can all three be (practically) unstoppable, but only if they are used in a special area on the field, otherwise they will miss the goal. So Indonesia’s air shot can be considered as an all-or-nothing power shot, with the result of it dependent on where you use it.
19) Switzerland = His first shot is good because it is always on goal. I like his ground shot even more and it is also really good, but Switzerland doesn't always take full advantage of it, as he doesn't always kick the snowman into the goal. I think his counter shot is his least good shot, but it is still pretty reliable. Another good thing about him, is that he looks happy. (:
13) Pluto = Pluto's air shot is a bit similar to South Africa's air shot which I have described earlier in the ranking. If you haven’t upgraded your jump to the maximum, you can also just do nothing when Pluto uses his air shot because you won't deflect it anyway. Besides your jump, also your timing has to be good, because this shot comes later than you would expect. It is a very hard shot to block, and even much harder to counter. Therefore it is so hard to get 5 counter attacks against Pluto to unlock him. His counter shot is only a bit good, as it is very fast but if you jump and move towards it, the ball is expected to roll into Pluto's goal. His ground shot is just like Croatia's ground shot very ineffective, but he doesn't use this shot often. Still, this offensive and fast player is good enough to be in 13th place in Teh Sweggurboi's Character ranking.
Very hard Edit
11) Uruguay = Not very long ago, Uruguay was one of the best opponents in Head Soccer, but now he isn't even a top 10 player anymore. Nevertheless, Uruguay still is a hard-to-beat opponent and mostly you can't score many goals against him. Near his own goal Uruguay's air shot is very good, as it is hard to deflect all the rockets which contain a ball. His ground shot is good from almost anywhere in the field. Uruguay will probably score sometimes against you by shooting your own head. One thing I don’t like about him is his counter shot, but it is not bad either.
6) Austria = Austria, the character with the air shot that is so slow, that you sometimes lose a game only because Austria couldn't finish his shot. This shot may be a bit annoying to use yourself sometimes, because of its unbelievable slowness. But for the CPU, this works out very well. It's so hard to score many goals against Austria, because his power shot wastes much of your time and it is very good as well. Only it gives you the time to activate your power shot and then it is much easier to stop it. In that respect is his ground shot maybe better, but it is much easier to counter. Austria’s real strength lies in his counter attack. It is fast, it travels in a difficult angle and it knocks you out every time: it simply has everything. It is unblockable and very hard to counter. And it leads to surprises when you are far away from your own goal, because it is too fast to get back in time to still stop it. For those reasons, Austria even makes it into 6th place!
7) Nepal = The weird thing about Nepal is that he is only good as a CPU. When you play as Nepal, it is annoying that he takes so long before he finally does his shot, but when you play against him, his shots waste your time and moreover they are pretty hard to stop. His ground shot is the shot which he uses most, and this brings me to the next point: his robot. When Nepal activates his power, he won’t move anymore until the moment he has finally jumped into his robot. But this massive robot has the big advantage that it blocks all his opponent’s shots on goal, even his power shots, so you probably can’t score against Nepal when his giant robot is in the game. And even better, the robot holds the ball until Nepal finally launches his power shot, so he can immediately use it. Because Nepal stays on the ground when he gets into his robot, he uses his ground shot most of the time, other than all other characters. First he shoots all kind of things in all directions which is only some extra flair to mislead you and then the actual ball comes. His air shot takes tons of time too, only Nepal’s counter attack is faster, and this one is also the most impressive.
4) Serbia = Another new character making it high on the list! Serbia represents Wonder Woman and I know why: She has three amazing power shots and she plays very good as well. I’m doubting which one is better: her air shot or her counter attack, although her ground shot is almost as good as well. Her power button effect already is very promising, as she transforms into Wonder Woman and gets surrounded by a tornado that blows her opponent out of the way. As if that was not enough yet, she also shoots a laser beam that pushes her opponent back once again. And then her power shot still has to come! In her air shot, she fires two rockets at your goal, and this is great, because they are almost unstoppable if you block them without having your power shot. It’s fast, accurate and very effective. Then Serbia’s ground shot, the Car Shot. You can only stop it by countering it, and another advantage of it is that the car has the ability to block your opponent’s power shot. If you do Serbia’s ground shot first, and then your opponent does his power shot, Serbia’s car will still hang around in the air and it won’t allow your opponent’s power shot to pass it, so it works as a perfect shield! Serbia’s counter attack is another good one. Serbia rushes at her opponent, makes him disappear and then flies back to her goal. In case her counter attack hadn’t scored already, she still has plenty of time to walk to the ball and kick it into the goal before her opponent reappears.
2) India = Gogogogogogogo! Yes, you name it, India! Almost as good as the number one on this list. After India has activated his power, but before he uses it, he gets surrounded by flames. This little bonus really makes him even stronger. If you touch this fire your controls will be changed, making it even harder to stop India's actual power, while it was already difficult enough. In his air shot, India launches a large amount of fireballs, and it requires much skill and luck to cancel India’s goal. However, his ground shot is much worse. It is the same as Hong Kong’s ground shot in many ways. One similarity is that you can score out of India’s ground shot by just walking forward. Another parable is that the power button effect is the only thing which improves the ground shot a bit, because it is harder to stop it while your controls are switched. His counter attack is not bad but not that special. Especially the air shot makes India one of the hardest characters in Head Soccer to defeat. He might have been the number one on this list if his ground shot and counter attack were better.
8) Ukraine = Almost all characters in the top 10 are from the latest updates, as well as Ukraine. Ukraine is one of the two girls in Head Soccer and it caused some fuss when they were updated. But it has to be said: the two women proved they know how to play the game. Truth is that they beat almost all of their male colleagues, with Ukraine in 8th place and Serbia yet to come. Now, let’s begin investigating Ukraine and her power shots. Ukraine’s air shot starts off with her shooting at you, but in my opinion this is all quite unnecessary, as the bullets can’t score. It’s all about the moment when she jumps in the air and shoots the ball covered in a fury of bullets, which is hard to prevent from going in if Ukraine has used it around midfield. Her ground shot is a mix of Ecuador’s ground shot and the counter attack of the same character, so it’s not very inventive, but it is a good one, especially because you get knocked out quite often. Her counter attack seems incredible at first because it seems to bear a resemblance to Georgia’s strong air shot. But it turns out that it is not in the least as strong as you would expect, and it is by far Ukraine’s weakest shot. She runs towards you very fast and you’ll disappear. This may all seem very impressive, but not anymore when you see that the ball bounces in some random direction and you’re usually back before Ukraine even had the chance to score. All in all, Ukraine is a good opponent, but she clearly falls short of being a top 5 player.
3) Luxembourg = A typical case ‘the last will be the first’. Luxembourg, a dwarf in real life football, is big as it comes to Head Soccer. Luxembourg is a great character, who plays very offensively and for him this is extra good, because his shot is much better when he uses it near his opponent's goal. Many people believe Luxembourg's first shot is one of the most difficult shots to stop. Especially when you get knocked out it is just a mission impossible to deflect it. But if you counter Luxembourg's counter attack you will also shoot his first shot, so you can get your revenge on Luxembourg!
Top 1 Edit
1) Ecuador = Ecuador is the best opponent in Head Soccer! Surprising? Well, I think not, because everybody knows he is the best! You just have to admit that his air shot is overpowered. I think it is logical that he walks away with the number one spot, although India was another serious contender for the title. When Ecuador uses his air shot against you, the best power shot in the whole game, you have little chance to stop the ball and it is an almost sure goal for Ecuador. He keeps shooting at you so long that you will get knocked out most of the time and Ecuador will score, even though you did so much effort to stop it. It is better than India’s air shot, because Ecuador’s shot doesn’t have a specific range, so the CPU can’t mess it up. Ecuador’s ground shot and counter attack are also much better than the ones India has. The ground shot is confusing but his weakest shot, and his counter attack is yet again a shot in which Ecuador keeps firing bullets at you so long that you sometimes can’t do anything else than giving up. The closer Ecuador uses it to your goal, the harder it gets for you to stop it. In short… he is just great. If you can beat Ecuador, you can beat anyone.