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Update 5.2

This blog post called "New Update Review", is about reviewing new updates (jeez! U serious?), and what a coincidence, a new one has arrived! Surprisingly. Normally D&D Dream would upload an announcement photo as a sign of life, but this time it did not come, and their Facebook page was completely extinct. I thought I had written my last update review for Update 5.1, that D&D Dream had reached the extreme point of laziness where they wouldn't do anything anymore... ever! That the Wiki would become less and less interesting and finally become as empty as D&D Dream's idea book! Well, let's say I'm not fit to become a fortune-teller, but that's OK because I never believed all that horoscope nonsense. Secondly, there is another, even stranger reason why I thought I couldn't write this blog post, which is that my lawn mower ran over my mobile today. Don't ask me how it happened, it's just a normal day in the life of Teh Sweggurboi. Anyway, my mobile survived, I haven't really figured out yet how it could only have one scratch, and not even on the screen! So I could test the new characters. What a story... But OK, herrre we go!

Appearances

I was so desperate for the new update after a four months wait, that I would have been okay with any kind of update. Literally, anything is better than nothing. Hell, if they added a character that looks like a banana with glasses and called him Saint Kitts and Nevis, which turns out to be an existing country, I would have had no problem with that. I wouldn't ask for more if they added a character named Kyrgyzstan, and made him resemble Tinky Winky. Even if they created Qatar (a country that nobody wants in the game except for me), but made him a chicken with the hairstyle and mustache of Albert Einstein, that would be okay by me. It turns out that they kind of beat my expectations, because: we got an update! On the other hand, they kind of failed (while I didn't even have real expectations in the first place!), because original ideas like a nerdy banana or a tasty inventor were too ambitious: D&D Dream don't do the thinking of original ideas, they leave that to others! Nearly all new characters are rip-offs from animes, and the new characters form no exception. Head Soccer started off as a nice little football game where countries from all over the world got their own characters. Those characters had features that had something to with the countries, and those were the main reasons we fell in love with this game.

Then why did they change this winning formula? A rip-off character every once in a few updates is okay, because nobody has an endless source of inspiration, but all the time? Yes, they got good power shots (more on that later) and yes, the gameplay itself hasn't really changed and yes, we got some more awesome game modes, but as for the characters, the game is getting worse. My point is that it doesn't have any meaning anymore if they call Honduras "Honduras", you know. I mean, Fiji could have been Honduras as well, you could switch them and no one bats an eye, because the anime character Inuyasha has as much to do with Fiji as it has with Honduras: absolutely ******* nothing! It's even more painful that D&D Dream switched Honduras and Fiji for real on the announcement photo, as if they were trolling themselves there, and confirming my statement. As far as I know, Fiji has nothing to do with Buddhism. In his power button effect, he looks similar to India, and that country HAS something to do with Buddhism; the religion even originated there! So India and Fiji could have been switched as well! And wouldn't it be more logical if Nepal and Georgia were switched too? Okay, you get my point now.

Then I got one more frustration: We already had those cases with Belgium and Valentine where nobody really knew what gender they were. And now I can't really tell if Honduras is male or female. It started with the announcement photo, which I have to mention now for the third time, because absolutely everything is wrong about it. Just look at how Honduras is depicted, the boots alone, and actually his her whole appearance! But go to the actual game, and you'll find that her his voice is undeniably male. In addition, Honduras acts like a male character in Death Mode AND he has a male body when he got hit by Colombia's air shot, but that doesn't say everything, because I can imagine D&D Dream being too lazy to change that. Honduras's appearance in the game doesn't really make things clearer either... I'm guessing he is male, but we can't be completely sure.

Power Shots

We start the Power Shots section off with an essential Head Soccer question. Now, which type of power shots are the best? I will not leave you in suspense any longer, the answer is either the ones with a knockout effect, or the ones with multiple balls. For this update, D&D Dream decided to put those two together, which resulted in Honduras's air shot. Without exaggerating I believe this is a 99% goal against CPUs, and I have much trouble stopping the shot myself too. The knockout effect is so good, that it's almost unfair! You can't help it when it happens, it has nothing to do with your Head Soccer skills whether you get knocked out or not. I quite like it, but it's too overpowered. For Fiji's air shot applies that it requires a bit more of skill and a bit less of luck, but still you get knocked out a lot even if you were actually doing great initially. Fiji shoots the first two balls rather low, but that makes the third one, which is shot higher, very treacherous, as the first two lure you forward, and then the third one requires you to go back quite a large distance. Anyway, it's a great shot. All other new power shots are quite simple, but generally pretty nice, especially Fiji's ground shot with the giant hand and the cage; considering that there are already so many power shots in the game; they still can think of something a bit different from others. The exceptions are Honduras's counter attack, which isn't original at all; like 5 characters before Honduras got a similar counter attack, and Honduras's ground shot, which isn't really simple. You could compare it to Finland's counter attack in some way. If you stand too close, the big bird will crush you, if you stand far away enough, you only have to stop the ball, which is quite simple. It's the same with Honduras's ground shot, the big blue ball of energy will blow you away, but if you stand far away enough, you'll only have to stop the ball, which is not even that easy in this case.

I think D&D Dream really didn't do bad on the power shots, but both air shots are slightly overpowered and too much based on luck, and in the future D&D Dream must look out for one thing. The last few updates they are really using the knockout thing a lot, as well as the Finland's counter attack/Honduras's ground shot thing. It's good for now, but in the next updates, I hope they will come up with something new. As regards the characters' appearances, I have already lost hope.

Welcome!

Welcome.

What is this blog post called "New Update Review" about?

It is about reviewing new updates! I started when Update 5.0 was out, and if you want to see that review again, just click on the tabber. Today, Update 5.1 is on the menu. We have waited for months (and on a Wiki where literally everyone is talking about the update, it all seems to take twice as long) - the question it is all about: Was it all worth it?

Finland

Think Finland, think snow, think lakes, think Santa, think vast green forests, think good education, think saunas, think Jari Litmanen, think ice hotel that gets built up every winter (the whole thing is completely made out of ice! even the beds are!) and melts down every spring. "Hey, isn't Angry Birds made in Finland? Forget about Santa, this is way cooler! By the way, our fans seem to like referenced characters." And that's how D&D Dream ensured that everybody now hates Finland. A quick look in the recent comments was enough for me to find that out. But actually it is quite a good theme for a character, because there is so much to imagine! I'll give you an example: For his power button effect, he can shoot a bird at the opponent! Yeah, and when it hits him, he gets unconscious! His Power shot? Shooting birds again! It's just genius. And there are several different birds, so you can make several different power shots! His air shot. It reminds of the three blue birds. Their names? Jay, Jake and Jim. It is of no importance. It is good (even if half of the birds seem to have no use at all! they are just there being adorable I guess) because the defender is usually positioned wrong: too far away from their goal. But it is not hard to stop with your power shot ready, the ball is in the middle bird. Next: ground shot. This one is much faster. Logical, because it is based on the fast, yellow bird named Chuck. It also has a very treacherous delay that makes you jump too early. Another good shot, but about half the time the defender blocks it, the ball lands on top of the goal and once it has finally rolled off, the defender is back from getting beaten up by baby birds that are barely out of their eggs. Last but not least: the counter attack. When I saw the big bird on the catapult, I thought it would be shot right at the goal. It didn't, but maybe that would have been much to similar to Austria's ground shot. Finland already has a catapult like Austria and their air shots are comparable too. Instead, the bird attempted to stay in the air, fell down (in that exact moment you can see pure fear in its eyes) and spew the ball towards the goal. This is my favorite power shot of all that Finland has to offer. I prefer power shots that require a bit of logical thinking to reach the full potential of them. Use Finland's counter attack close to the opponent's goal and it will give you lots of fun in return. The big bird lands down on your opponent and crushes him. Then, as if that wasn't enough already, it shoots the ball in an empty goal! Thank you Terence (that's the name of his counterpart in Angry Birds). All in all, Finland's power shots are quite good, I would say a top 10 character. An Angry Birds character isn't a bad thing, but it's a shame they have elected Finland, because I hoped for a snow/lakes/Santa/and so on-themed character. He should also have looked a bit better, because I would understand if the Finnish feel offended by how they are depicted. When Czech Republic was added, it raised a question: Can the characters get any uglier? And then, Finland came. It's also illogical to me that Finland transforms into a pig. Aren't the pigs the ones that get shot?

And now, some facts that I should add to Finland's page instead of here.

Have you noticed that

- Finland's eyebrows are flying?
Screenshot 2016-04-27-20-28-25 1

Finland wins this Battle of Ugliness, well done Finland!

- When Finland uses his air shot in front of midfield, the best way to stop it might be on top of your goal?
- The ball that the fat bird shoots is exactly like Nepal's ground shot ball?
- Finland doesn't have a nose? (you probably did)
- Finland's strange hair things are similar to South Africa's strange hair things?
- He is an Angry Bird, which means our prediction was right! For once.

Bulgaria

Doesn't he look familiar to you? I think we all have a classmate who looks like this, and if you don't, then maybe you are that classmate. His air shot, however, is something that we haven't seen before. Bulgaria hits his opponent up in the atmosphere, then jumps into space himself, for some reason time stops for a while (has he broken the space-time continuum?), then he smashes his opponent down again, into the ground, and lands down himself to score. Yes, that is a way to create a chance, but you could also just beat your opponent up in the sky and stay there with the ball to kick it in the goal! But that is just a random thought, maybe it's too simple. On the other hand, maybe it's a good thing that Bulgaria flies us to the stars and back and has the ability to stop time, because those are the only things that make him special (other than the fact that he sounds like those creatures from Rabbids Invasion). Because, other than that, is there anything to remember Bulgaria for? He doesn't only look like you(r classmate) - Like I said earlier - he also bears similarities to Czech Republic and Croatia, and to Super Saiyan (we already had a Dragon Ball Z character, goddammit!). And we know the knockback thing in his ground shot by now, Denmark does it,
Screenshot 2016-04-28-17-29-03 1

Uhm... Chinese? This is Bulgaria!

Asura does it, Ireland does it... WatermelBot too! And I haven't even mentioned Ecuador. The counter attack is an updated straight-line shot. Bulgaria seems to be made to be forgotten.

Have you noticed that

- Bulgaria has longer hair in his ground shot than in his air shot, while the rest of him looks exactly the same?
- That's it. What more to say about him?

Other stuff

There also is a Costume added. I don't know what it is, I also don't need to know. It sticks out its tongue and that's where I thought 🔔🎈 The Frog Hat. Well, it isn't, but the effect is quite useful. However, I like my idea more (Warning! Shameless self promotion)

No new game mode, so nothing to say about that.

The End

That's it folks, when a new update comes along, I will also update this page, as befits a real blog post. If you want to share your opinion about the update, then do so! Let me know, I'm curious what everyone else thinks. Muchas gracias for reading and have fun with the new update!


Quote: "It's interesting to see how D&D can piss everyone off by waiting so long with
the update, then piss everyone off again when they reveal it"

What is this if I may ask?

Of course you may, I'm not like others who walk away from a press conference or calling you "fat man". It's a blog post, my first blog post ever to be precise. -Is this really only your fi-... Yes! I never felt the urge to make one before, but now the time has come: I have a good topic to write about. But first, before I forget: Welcome! Recently, Head Soccer released a new update, and that is what this blog post is about: reviewing it. This blog post is also a nod to other, earlier blogs: When - in the far far future, in a galaxy far far away - a new update is released, I will remove the existing content about the previous update and set out my views on the next one.

Death Mode

Screenshot 2016-01-17-08-37-02 1

Let's just start off here, the new long expected game mode. My first try was with Germany. I immediately had troubles bringing Stage 1 to a successful conclusion. I am ashamed to say that I lost to Italy. Yes, ITALY, you can laugh all you want, but I have never seen someone play so dirty. So the first Stage is the one with the weight coming out of the air every once in a while right? Italy headed the ball on top of it and jumped on it himself. Italy had the lead already with only 10 seconds left on the clock so there was no alternative left than to follow his example and climb on the block myself. Then, suddenly, tragedy struck. Italy had his power bar charged and used it to level me to the ground: While I was there in the air hanging around with my buddy Italy on the block, a giant ball was rolling at high speed towards my goal and before I knew it, Italy scored. Oh Italy, you filthy bastard... I decided to sacrifice many of my well-deserved points to continue the game, but all in all it wasn't the Death Mode debut I envisioned so far. When Stage 2 turned out even harder than the first one I thought: I have prayed for months for a new, more challenging game mode, but if I hardly survive the first two stages, what is there yet to come?! But surprisingly the next stages were much easier, because they allowed me to gain more control over the game. Lesson of the day: If there is something in the field that messes up a CPU's gameplay, it makes them better. When I was around Stage 10, I wondered how many times I had already died. I didn't know, but by thinking about that, I got the answer to something else: Why Death Mode is called Death Mode, and not Story Mode for example, in honor of a general idea by FranceSwitzerland which I think is genius

Unfortunately I didn't reach past Stage 21. And why? Well, blame Germany! He found it necessary to let the game glitch every time! The Germany mistake occured in 5 or 6 matches in total: Every time when I used my power shot in between the 50 and 40 seconds, the opponent blocked only one of the balls, both players turned invisible and it was always the opponent who gained unfair goals rapidly without doing anything. Then I had to restart the game and make a sensational comeback, until in Stage 21 I just couldn't do it anymore. So here's another tip: Never play Death Mode with Germany, it will mess up everything, sadly. But who should you choose then? It could be a future idea to create a Death Mode guide, but probably not because with some Head Soccer talent and common sense you come a long way. To return to the question: I would say France is the best choice, because no matter what is happening on the field, he will always score. The worst are maybe the characters whose power shots travel in the air and have a long way to go to the goal, like United Kingdom, Chile and Japan. And what is the best way to handle certain Stages? Most of them aren't brainteasers, just stay away from the dangers, but in some Stages like the ones with the wolf and the black holes there could be certain tips to give. 

My second try was with Netherlands and with him I accomplished the whole Death Mode and unlocked PumpKill, about who I will express my opinion later in this same blog.

Death Mode is exciting and challenging, and it has a simple storyline: Some bad dudes have kidnapped some other guys and you have to rescue the people in the cages by winning your matches. Death Mode is there exactly at the right time, not too early, not too late, when everybody knows how to play normal matches and is ready to experience something new. Maybe it's not Death Mode itself, but the combination with the normal game modes that makes the new game mode a winner. Of course, some stages are better than others. Stage 1 and 2 were challenging for example, and I also liked the Stages with the gate in front of the goal, the trident and the what was it again? a scythe swinging on top of the screen. The ones that I rate lower are the black hole, Stage 3, the cannons and those filthy, hideous giant worms, because they are random or mainly the only thing they do is causing delay. There was also a Stage in which meteors fell from the sky, and that is nice, because I have created a mission in Mission Mode in which the same happened. Then I have to say Stage 29 was good as well. It was the random one remember? You never know what comes next. But the climax - as it should be - was the final Stage, Stage 30. With a huge angry monster (a dragon) in the background, smashing his fists on the playfield regularly to crush you, and shooting lasers out of his eyes that immobilize you... Wait... Déjà vu! I will help you: it's from Hell, my character idea. Well, not completely, but fair enough it can't be unseen. Thank you for that, D&D Dream, I owe you a drink for using my creation in the game! But there was one thing I didn't understand, and that was the end. I was expecting a happy end and in the beginning it looked that would come true: I liberated Ukraine from her cage and she seemed pleased, if not in love with my guy Netherlands. But then it took an unexpected turn. They turned aggressive, not only Ukraine, but Czech Republic as well! You ungrateful little... After all that I have done for you! Why? :"(

Screenshot 2016-01-20-20-38-50 1





Melonguy

I don't know his real name, but Melonguy is the character with a melon as his head, or as I want to call him, Funny Faced Fruit Friend. Am I the only one who felt the urge to laugh when I saw him first? He looks even more comical with his mouth shut, and I immediately liked the fruity guy for that. He appears all the time like he wants to eat me like Pacman, but Melonguy never does, for which I want to thank him. However, his air shot was a huge disapppointment. No, not you, not you who has this crappy shot, please! But then I continued testing his other two shots. His ground shot made me cheerful again: it was good. It does what it should do: scoring, against CPUs, real people, everyone; it doesn't matter, it just scores! It's a bit like Denmark's shot, but much stronger (although I wonder if weaker was an option). His counter attack is a strong one too; Funny Faced Fruit Friend headbutts the opponent and makes him disappear so you have a walk-in goal! Very similar to Serbia though, is my footnote. The only thing I dislike is his power button effect because it makes you unable to control Melonguy for a while (just like Serbia, again). His flag is a melon: the upper part is the inside with the melon seeds, the lower part is the melon's skin, so it resembles my friend quite closely!

PumpKill

I remember his name, I think it was like this, am I right? PumpKill. Is it an inventive name or just tinkering? It doesn't matter. Something that I noticed immediately and found remarkable, or actually disturbing is the better word, is that Pumpkin Man looks different in matches than in the player select screen. In the Select screen he looks like a cruel creature who likes to celebrate Halloween whole year round, on the field he looks much more cuddlesome, with his mouth and eyes lighting up every few seconds and just like his buddy who walked in in Head Soccer at the same time, he looks funny and cool. But I do think PumpKill is the worse one of the two, although not much worse. When he activates his power up, the aforementioned cuteness vanishes and the beast inside of him awakens... His air shot seems very hard to deflect for the CPUs, his ground shot is okay and his counter attack seems easy to counter but its after effect is cruel and reminds me of the first ideas I had for - yes - Hell, but didn't make the cut. Only one question remains: Which play style should I choose in Head Soccer 2 for a possessed pumpkin?

Bonus

Screenshot 2016-01-16-16-30-04 1

Oh, so that's his real name, WatermeBot! Should I change it in the page? Nah...

Melonguy's unlock requirement was winning Death Mode without getting injured. I had unlocked Serbia with Ukraine before, because Ukraine can't get injured when she's in her power button effect state, but I thought it would be too easy so I decided to use India. I clicked wrong and ended up playing with Hong Kong. Not a bad accident actually, because Hong Kong can knock off costumes and damage the opponent. I tried tons of times and failed. One time, I even beat Asura without getting injured! That was my greatest achievement. And once I was almost there, but my opponent in the semi final was Serbia wearing Nepal's costume, and in the final, Ecuador awaited... Yeah... NOPE! But in the end, after countless amounts of desperately trying, I unlocked him! Not with Ukraine, which I think most others have done, but with Hong Kong.

The End

That's it folks, when a new update comes along, I will also update this page, as befits a real blog post. If you want to share your opinion about the update, then do so! Let me know, I'm curious what everyone else thinks. Muchas gracias for reading and have fun with the new update!

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